Fifty or so years ago many women couldn’t work. It was frowned upon. It was expected of them to stay home, look after the kids, clean the house and just be pretty for their husbands. Many women came together to be the voice for us and fought for the right to be equal, to work. Today it is almost frowned upon if a women doesn’t work. Oh you’re a housewife? Your husband works his ass off while you sit pretty at home all day, how lazy.
It’s fucking ridiculous. EVERY person should have the right to CHOOSE what they want to do with their life without some person forcing their opinion of the right way to live down their throat. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY because in the end of day this is YOUR life. You should be able to say at the end of your days that you lived how you wanted to live. I guess what I’m trying to say is the last thing you want to do is spend your entire life living a life that someone wrote for you. To play a role every second of all your days. Write your own damn story.
I’ve been thinking about my future for a long time now. I felt so conflicted because I knew I should study. Its expected from me. You can’t just not study and decide to stay home and leach off your husband. Women fought way to hard for this right for you to decide not to use it. The thing is…I don’t want to study. I don’t want to work a nine to five job. I want to do my own thing. Be my own boss. At first I thought that maybe I haven’t found the right study that fits me just right. Maybe once I figure out what career I can balance while working from home and finding a study I’m passionate about…it just doesn’t feel right.
When I first found out I have celiac I thought that something in the nutrition field would be the perfect fit. I would be able to relate to my clients and learn more about the celiac disease. It felt like a good fit. I even did a short course on the subject. It was interesting but after a few months I came to an conclusion that being a nutritionist won’t satisfy me completely. I tried to explain this to my husband before. He didn’t quite understand it but let’s try it anyway.
Life is more about my nutritional health for me. I want to incorporate mental and physical health. After all the three of those needs to be in balance for perfect harmony and happiness. There is three baskets (nutritional, mental and physical) and six eggs (daily energy/time). You can’t add three eggs into one basket, two in another and only one in the last basket. Eventually it will wear you down. Every basket needs three eggs to have harmony. To avoid burn out or possible mental breakdown. I’m not sure if any of that makes sense but it makes sense to me. So I searched the net trying to find a study and career that would balance those three things. Becoming a vital couch seemed be the perfect fit. You learn about mental health (stress counselor, mental coach and mindful analyst), physical health (basic coach, weight consultant and personal trainer) and nutritional health (natural food adviser and hormone specialist). If I do decide to study this would most likely be the study that I choose as it’s something I want to do my entire life. I want to find a way to balance my three baskets evenly and help others.
BUT it doesn’t feel completely right. I’ve been writing since I turned twelve. I also started to read around that time. When I was younger reading and writing was my escape of reality. After that difficult time passed it was my therapy, my way of dealing with what happened. Writing has a soft spot in my heart. When my writing started to improve and I started to share my stories online, the little flutter of becoming an author start to bloom. When people all over the world started to respond to my stories, sending me messages how my story was helping them through difficult times or just making their day, it sparked something big. I want to be an author. I want to write. I want to spend my day creating a new world with characters that readers can relate too. As time passed I forgot why I enjoyed writing so much but after starting the blog I reminded myself why I started writing. Why I never truly stopped.
Basically I’m sitting in front a cross road. I need to decide if I want to study or if I want to follow my dream and become an author. I can’t have both. I’m not entirely sure what exactly is holding me back. I guess if I’m hundred percent honest, society expects me to study and have my own career and I just don’t want to disappoint my family, friends…myself. I want to make the right decision for myself.
I want to be a writer.
I don’t want to study just because other people think I should.
I want to live my own life.
I’m not going to study, well I might take a few wellness courses to improve my own way of life and learning more about nutrition, physical and mental health will only help me, but I’m not going to get a degree.
I’m going to write.
I’m going to create new worlds.
I’m going to create characters that readers fall in love with.
I’m going to follow my childhood dream.
I’m going to study in the world of literature.
I’m definitely going to take a few writing courses as its only going to help me improve. So I guess in a way I’m still going to study but it’s definitely not enough for society. It’s truly funny how things work out. I’m never going to have a bachelor degree but it’s not something I need to be happy. No more limits. I’m going to spread my wings and have words guide my life.
My name is Cassandra and I’m a house wife. I write every single day and I don’t have a bachelor degree. I’m worthy of respect and happiness. Thank you for reading.
I wish you all the best and I will see you in a click!