So, I’m still nauseous. It comes and goes but it came back last night and fuck me guys watching a movie in 3D when you’re nauseous sucks balls. I’m so over this. We’ve gone to doctor about it and the medication he gave me isn’t working so I guess we will have to explore our other options when I see him again sometime this week or next week. Other than that, there is something I want to share with you guys. It has nothing to do with the topic at hand but I’ve been wanting to share this for some time now. I’m irritated with myself. These last few months, probably years by now, I’ve been hyper-emotional. Anything can make me cry. I hate feeling like this. I used to pride myself on keeping my shit together but now if you look at me the wrong way, I’m most likely going to start crying. The other day I was out and about and the guy spoke Dutch to me and I couldn’t understand a single fucking word he said. He spoke inside his mouth and everything just sounded like mumbles and it stressed me out because I’m going to have to communicate all day in Dutch at my new job. Anyway, this made me super upset and nervous. I had to bite back the tears. I don’t like feeling like this and urgh I feel so sick to my stomach so I just want to round this off so I can lay down and wait for my head to stop spinning.
So, ME day went okay I guess. I plugged my eyebrows, shaved my mustache (it was really needed), I rocked my hair and face mask and took a long bubble bath.
I shaved my legs (it’s been a while), put on my lotion and then took a nap because life just keeps handing me those lemons. It was nice enough I guess. It would’ve been better if I didn’t feel so sick to my stomach but I guess that’s just one of those things. I realize that I’m throwing myself a pity party but that’s good every now and again. I need to feel what I feel and then dust myself off and get up and face life head-on. Although saying that I’m incredibly fragile these days so uhm yeah. What am I saying at this point? Sorry if this blog is a hot mess but your girl isn’t doing that great. I’m going to leave now because the screen is kinda blurry. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. See you tomorrow.
I’m a little disappointed that this mojo magic or whatever I’m calling it isn’t going too well. It makes sense because I started this project because I’ve lost that spark. It’s not going to be perfect from the get-go. I just need to trust that my effort won’t all be in vain. I refuse to sugarcoat anything so what you see is what you’re going to get.
Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!