I’m so incredibly excited to finally get back to this series. Part 11 was supposed to come out months ago but hey, better late than never. Just a quick run down of what this is about. I’m a Sims 4 nerd and one day when I was supposed to write a blog for the next day, I was really knee deep into my Sims. I then thought: “Hey, how can I combine these two things?” I had a few options but the one I really liked was well, remaking the Sims 4 meals. It’s perfect. I want to try out new things, play around with recipes and I get to combine the two. It’s a lot of work though. There is ten levels in the normal cooking alone on the Sims 4. If we want to make this even more confusing, there is different ”cooking” things as well. You get normal cooking, gourmet cooking and baking. The idea is to eventually go through all of this but it will probably take me ten years to finish all ten levels of the normal cooking one…so we’re going to be here for awhile.
Usually I would have a new meal go up every three weeks but with the new blogs changes, this will be a bit different. Basically to make a long story short, there will be a new meal in every Pure Chaos week. This means that Part 12 will only go on the 31st of March. It’s a long wait but well…yeah. I can’t do everything. I learned that the hard way.
If you’re completely confused or new, you’re going to need this – For a full explanation of what this challenge is, please click here. For a run down of the first ten parts of this blog series, please click here.
To you, this is a simple blog. I made a Hamburger cake because at one stage in my life, I thought it would be fun to remake Sims 4 meals. To me, it’s a snapshot into my unraveling insanity. Yeah, this was a fun one. Super duper fun. It was great. I baked this cake nearly six months ago and I still need more time. This is probably my sixth time sitting down to write this horror show but well here we are again. At this point I just want to get it over with so it doesn’t loom over my head anymore. I’m super duper ecstatic.
Okay, let’s start this shit show so it can end sooner. It was that bad. Going into baking this cake, I did little to no research. I watched one How To Cake It video and that’s all I needed to know. Fondant looks easy. This looks easy. I just need to bake four cakes, stack them all together, slap fondant over it and fucking call it a day. I really wish you can hear my hysterical laughter when I wrote that one down. It’s safe to say, that’s not how it went down.
This cake was for Onno’s birthday so I thought it would be smart to prepare for this by making a plan. I gave myself an entire week to work on it. First, for four days we’re going to bake one cake every single day. Allow it to cool, stick it into the fridge until we’re ready to put everything together, the day before his birthday.
That was the easy part.
Things started to derail when it was put everything together day. Imagine my surprise that when you stack four cakes on top of each other, it’s going to be a huge fucking cake. Don’t believe me? Here.
And that’s my friends, is the moment Cassandra knew she fucked up. But I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel though. This stupid cake won’t defeat me. Spoiler alert, it did. It crushed my soul and I haven’t baked since. It’s been six months. I’m still not okay. Regardless, my naive little soul pushed forward and started to prepare the fondant. Sigh. Quite a bit in, I realized that my small packets of fondant wouldn’t be nearly enough to cover this huge ass cake and instead of admitting defeat and going to the shops – at this point this cake is racking up quite a tab. I’m actually a little angry now – my smart ass decided to make it work…by trying to dye the white fondant orange. In theory this would work. I mean the How To Cake It lady does it all the time. The problem is, I dyed my white fondant with normal food coloring. Now, if you know absolutely nothing about baking, you might be wondering why this is a problem. Oh you sweet innocent little soul. Let’s just say it messes with the consistency of the fondant. Please enjoy these series of photos in which I lose my sanity and will to live.
Yeah…I failed quite expectaraily. Expectatory. Oh bless Google’s heart. It gave me Expectation. It’s not the word I want to use though. Why can’t I spell this word? Does this word even exist? I legit just typed into Google: word for the term failing on a grand scale…and well I found the word I wanted to use. You will never guess what it is. Also, I should be ashamed for not knowing how to spell it. At least the word exists…I’m going to give myself that one. Let’s start over.
Yeah…I failed quite extravagantly.
…I think that’s the word I was looking for. I’m saying it out loud in one way but now I’m just doubting the entire English language so let’s go with extravagantly. Fuck me, I promise I write better than this. Buy my eBook?
Okay, let’s get back to the horror story on hand. So, at this point, I was just DONE with everything. Fondant is the Devil’s play dough and I never wanted to see it again. As it was still Onno’s birthday the next day, I had to come up with a solution…and fast. So, luckily my brain shot me a quick idea. All I had to do is whip out the circle cookie cutter and pray for the best. What I ended up doing is making mini hamburger cakes. To add some excitement to the quick cake, I covered the ‘bread’ part (the chocolate chip vanilla cake) in buttercream and dipped it in crushed cookies, I covered the ‘meat’ part (chocolate cake) with a chocolate spread. I then just stacked all the parts together, pushed a cocktail stick through the middle and called it mini hamburger cakes.
I’m quite proud of these mini cakes. It was way too sweet and I didn’t even take one full bite – I was too emotionally scarred to enjoy it – but I accomplished my goal. I made a hamburger cake and no one can take that away from me.
Now, let’s finally move on over to the Sims version of this cake. It’s ridiculously easy for Sims Susan, which yes, adds some salt to the wound. Sims Susan made a chocolate and vanilla batter, threw it all into one pan and pulled out a fully decorated hamburger cake out of the oven in a blink of an eye. Damn, it stings. Here are some pictures of this process while I lick my wounds.
Sigh…now let’s compare the two…I so don’t want to do this but at least this blog is almost finished and it’s 6pm so I can finally drink a glass of wine…
And finally, I get to rate this recreation. I mean it’s not like I’m bias at all. Fuck, I sound salty and bitter.
Taste: 3/10 – It was way too sweet.
Look: 5/10 – It kind of looks like a hamburger so I’m going to give myself some points for that…I lose quite a bit of points when you compare the two.
How easy it is to make: 0/10 – Fuck me. You read this blog. You know why I gave it this rating.
You know, it just occurred to me – I’m a few sips in with my wine – that I should probably Google some fancy ass words for the rating portion of this series.
- Fancy words for taste I’m liking – flavor, palatableness (what the fuck is this word and why do I love it so much?), sapidity (again what does this word even mean?) and essence.
- Fancy words for look I’m liking – appearance, design and orchenstrate (some of these fancy words could be in another language for all I know.)
- Fancy words/terms for how easy is to make I’m liking – creation, production, construction, fabrication, manufacture, development…I should stop…conception. Okay, I’m stopping.
Fuck, I’m dumb. Okay folks, let’s end this train rack here and move onto the next one.
Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!
…And yes, in case you were wondering. I had a shit load of cake left. We tried to give as much as possible away after turning it into mini cakes but I quite honestly threw half of it away. Such a waste. Let’s not do that again, okay?