Okay, so there is going to be a change of plans. First, let me explain.
I had to sit down and really access my mental health. After doing a mental health check, I realized very quickly that I have fallen down the same rabbit hole once again. I’ve overloaded my plate and put way to much pressure on myself. This month is our first month back on the TTC train and it’s been a bit intense. A bit more than expected. Our break was on the long side and although we’re finally getting the support and help we needed a good year ago, it’s still an incredibly difficult journey. I didn’t expect how bad it got when I saw those negative tests again.
Another unexpected event was my struggles with trying to write. Writing is something I hold very dear to my heart and when I realized that I couldn’t turn to that natural part of me anymore, I unraveled. I still believe the Finding My Voice series has the potential to help me through this. Documenting and experimenting until I finally regain my confidence and beat this insecurity and fear is surely going to be successful. But I feel that this isn’t something I should force into a tight time frame. This could do more harm than good.
So, honestly. I have no choice. I have to adjust and come up with a new plan. Since the new schedule is still on trial, I don’t feel too bad that it’s not 100% perfect. I do like the rough idea of it though and I want to build on it some more. For now, I do need to take a small break to write content like a crazy person. Wait, I almost fell down that same rabbit hole again. Come on, Cassandra. The last thing I want to do is give myself 2 weeks to write 10 quality blogs. That ain’t possible honey. Okay, let’s regroup.
This is what we’re going to do.
- I’m going to give myself a good amount of time, and by that, I mean a generous amount of time, to figure this out. But this time, I won’t disappear completely. Oh, that’s a messy sentence. Let me break this down before I start to ramble.
- I’m going to take time off and start posting a light sprinkle of content starting March. I finally have some time off from my day job and I just don’t want to do anything for a week straight.
- For the next 10 weeks, I’m going to revert back to my old posting schedule. A blog once a week, every Monday. Now, there can be some bonus blogs here and there but I won’t make any promises.
- What I liked about the new approach was the regular breaks and a clear line between the Blog side and the Writing Corner side of my website. I want to keep that.
Let me make a long story simple.
- Week 1 to week 3 will be Blog content. Think of it as Pure Chaos content mixed in with Dear Diary entries if there is something I want to share.
- Week 4 will be Writing Corner content. I’m going to attempt to have either a continuation of the Finding My Voice series or just something new entirely.
- Week 5 will be a break. Yes. I’m going to take one entire week off.
- Week 6 to 8 will be Blog content again.
- Week 9 will be Writing Corner content again.
- Week 10 will be another short break.
- And hopefully, by Week 11, I can return with Plan B’s content.
Now, I do realize that doesn’t seem like a lot of effort on my side. But, a lot happens behind the scenes. I have a shit ton of work to do with the technical side of the website. I need to update all of my Website Pages. I need to do go back and fix links on my old blogs. I need to write up a new Terms and Conditions page that fits my future projects. There is a lot of technical and legal stuff I need to do for the website. That’s going to swallow up so much time. And I have to come up with Plan B, and then write content for Plan B. That’s going to be a lot of work but it’s doable. Fuck, my shoulders are right into my neck. No, deep breath Cassandra.
Another one of my core faults is that I want to skip straight to the finishing line. I want to skip all the messy and difficult steps and bask in the glory of having shit figured out. To figure shit out though, you need to get some shit on your hands. Multiples times in a row. So, instead of skipping straight to the end goal, I’m going to slowly build myself up to that goal. Basically what this means is, I’m not going to rush this. If I see Plan B also doesn’t work after a good month, I will come up with Plan C.
So, yeah. Plan A didn’t quite work out, even though I put in SO MUCH work, it happens. It doesn’t change the fact that I still learned a lot from the experience. I can do better now. I know what worked and I also know what didn’t work. That does mean something.
Thank you for understanding and I hope to have you all along for the ride as I figure shit out.