It’s a Christmas miracle everyone. I finished two chapters in the month of October. Wait does that mean it’s a Halloween miracle? It doesn’t quite have the same ring to it but we can get used to it, right?
As this is an update and I can’t have it be like 40 words, I’m trying to think of something to add to this. I guess I can tell you about my new idea on how to write more frequently but honestly, I don’t think that matters. I accomplished my goal of two chapters and now it’s important that I keep it up for this month and so on. Yeah, I only wrote in the first week of October and then didn’t open the document again, but it’s not like I failed…It’s not ideal and I don’t want this to become a pattern but I can only do my best and that just needs to be good enough. I think I’m also slowly realizing that I’m never going to have the few weeks of writing madness I had when I rewrote and finalized My Alpha Mate Got Me Pregnant And He Loves It. Back then I was able to write a chapter every day for days in a row. I think my longest streak was 8 days and then I took two days off and pumped out another 5 or 6 days. That’s the golden standard that I keep holding myself to. But now it’s unrealistic to expect that from myself. I’m not quite happy with where I am right now. I want to make writing a priority to me and work on it more than I do now, but I don’t know how yet. But I will keep trying until I find that balance. I just need to trust myself more…
That’s it. I didn’t know I was feeling that way until I sat down and typed it out. It just goes to show how valuable writing is for me. This feels good. I’m going to brainstorm a bit on how I want to approach this month and what experiment I want to try out. But for now, my goal for November and December is 1) find a writing system that works and most importantly is maintainable. 2) Continue the streak of writing two chapters a month.
I think for now I will come back with an update end of December. By then I should have more clarity. Fingers crossed. Please take care of yourselves and stay safe.
Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!
I know it’s been a while. I’m sorry for disappearing. Life just hit a bit too hard and I had to go into survival mode for a second there. But please know that even if it might not seem like it, writing is very important to me. This book is important to me. I just figured I will quickly pop in here to give an update on the process and the plan for the next few months.
August was a good writing month. The best one I’ve had for a while. It went downhill around the middle point but those first two weeks were chef kisses for this book. The plan of working on the book for at least 15 minutes every two days worked really well. (Say that three times fast!) I’ve noticed that sitting down and working on the book is the easier part of the two, but getting started was a whole different problem. I struggle to do that just by myself. So, the timer system on a schedule did the trick. I marked 6 days in those two weeks and was finally able…drum roll please…TO FINISH A CHAPTER. That’s right. You read that correctly. Slow poke over here finished her first chapter in MONTHS. I finished chapter one on the 22nd of May and only finished chapter two on the 9th of August. Urgh, that hurts a bit. And because this system worked so well in August before shit hit the fan, I want to give it a good old college try in the month of October. So, I will be right back. I’m going to open my book for the first time since the 12th of August and set a 15-minute timer. Just for fun, it’s 11:30. Let’s see when I finish…
I’m back. It’s 30 minutes and a little over 500 words later. I had to reread chapter two to figure out where I left of. I kind of got into the groove but then the laundry machine finished and reminded me of the very long list of chores I need to get through after being overwhelmed for a bit there. So, I’m going to that and come back to this update a bit later tonight. I want to set another 15-minute timer tonight and see if I can pump out a bit more before I post this update. What can I say? I’m definitely overcompensating. But as extra overcompensation, here is a tiny little expert of chapter two. This is something I use all the time in real life because of one TikTok I saw I don’t even know how long back. It has become a personality trait.
“On a scale from one to ten, one being you would rather shave your head in a Dr. Phill haircut and ten being genuine joy, how much are you looking forward to tomorrow?” Zack hummed as he pondered over my question.
Many moons have passed since I’ve last opened this document. I’ve transcended into another life form and I’m now the ultimate something majestic. It’s been two days and it took me an embarrassingly amount of time to find this document on my computer. Am I being overdramatic? Yes. Did I immediately find it? No. Was it right in front of me on my desktop? Yes. I also needed to Google transcend because my first instinct was “tresented’’ but pronounced trans-scented. I whole heartedly promise I’m a very professional author… Let’s just say, I really appreciate my girl auto correct or the little suggestions word recommends when I spell like my dog’s asshole. I’m completely off track so let’s steer this puppy back onto topic. The little proud chuckle I did at my own joke is something I’m not ashamed of.
Anyway…it’s been two days since I’ve started this update so that means two things. I’m procrastinating and it’s time for another 15 minutes on the book. I’m going to quickly do that after being distracted by another task and come back at ***insert time later*** and…okay I will stop. See you in second. It’s 14:35. It’s 15:06 and I’m back. That went well. I’m a bit uncertain with the next bit. Originally this book was going to be a quick short novel but the number one feedback I got was that the book went too quick and it needed more breathing moments as in fillers to help build the storyline. And I’m now a bit insecure with the number of details I’m adding. It’s a struggle that has popped up before and I’m willing to put money on the fact that it will continue to come up every single chapter. But regardless of this tiny little thing I need to sort out, I’m happy with what I wrote down today and what I have up to this point so that’s something I’m going to cling onto. Future Cassy from two days from now can sort out this little kink.
This has been my very long update. I will come back at the end of the month to check in and update how things are going. My goal is to have chapter three and four complete. Even better if I get to say chapter five and six is finished but that’s my overcompensating voice speaking. I hope everyone is well and until next time.
Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!
This is going to be a very QUICK little pop in. July has been BRUTAL. I was sick for 2 weeks. My husband got hit by a car (He’s okay! No broken bones and is almost back to a 100%). Our bathroom flooded. Chaos at the new job. All of this meant that I worked very little on the book and didn’t hit my two chapters per month goal. I have 3 and a half hours saved up for July that I need to spend on the book and I’m going to try to catch up where I can, but honestly, I need to recess a few things and see how I can balance everything while keeping my sanity.
For one of the reports for work I had to write up a plan of action on how I’m going to balance work, school and my private life. And this is how my general week looks like: 1 day is all mine. My private life day. My recharge day. 1 day is just me going to school. 3-4 days I work. On my working days I also write reports for work and do any courses, training and etc. 1-2 day for school stuff. This includes working on projects, preparing for lessons and studying. All of this means that I only have 1 day a week to possibly work on the book, but that also means that on the only free day I have just for myself I need to work on the book, which is honestly not ideal and I’m just not going to be able to balance it in the long run. So, I now need to come up with a plan on how to best balance everything. And as I’m a problem solver at heart, I’ve spent this last week trying to come up with some solutions.
These are the possible solutions that I would want to try out on a month trail basis until we find the best match.
Commit to spending 15min on the book every 2 days. Basically, I turn on a timer, open the document and just work until the timers goes off. If inspiration hits and I’m on the roll I work through my timer until I reach a good stopping point.
Commit to spending 45min on the book every 4 days. With the same timer rule thing going on.
For August I will try out the 15min timer one. I will start today after this blog goes up. Hopefully I can just hit my stride and get going. Inspiration is almost zero at this point and it takes so much energy and effort to just sit down and work on the book. It’s not necessarily to do with time as much and more to do with a combination of lack of motivation and writer’s block. But I think the only way to compact that is to write more frequently. I will come back at the end of the month with an update, hopefully I can then finally share that I’ve hit the two chapters a month goal. I’m so behind schedule it’s not even funny. I hope things are going okay with you all, please take care and stay safe.
Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!
Uhmm, hi…well this is awkward. I don’t really know where to start with this one so I’m going to just word vomit it out. I’ve been struggling to keep up with my plan for the book. It’s been very difficult to balance everything and well I’ve written one chapter. And I would say I’m about 70% happy with it. There are some parts where I’m a bit unsure. I’m struggling to make the one-character likable. I have my favorites yah know, but one of the main characters is in love with this other character but I can’t make them likable enough to justify the love part. This is a mess of an explanation but I’m struggling to put everything together. There are just so many parts I’m not sure of yet and I’m not one of those writers that can just write through it yah know, like wing it and see what happens. Or maybe I am? I honestly don’t know anymore.
But putting my writer extensional crisis aside, working on the book while trying to have a life, cling onto my sanity, and attempt to get my degree while being railed by the Dutch language has been a tiny bit difficult. But I always say that if something is truly important to you, you will make time for it. So, I guess I need to put my money where my mouth is and actually make time to write even if I don’t know what the fuck to write next. I should at the very least open the document, throw some words onto the screen and hope something sticks. So, I will try to do better. Realistically I might only finish two chapters a month and I can definitely kiss the end of September deadline for this run-through goodbye, but I’m going to try. I’m going to open that document at least once a week and see if any inspiration hits. If I have to set a timer of the minimal amount of time, I need to actually spend on the book I will. I’m going to put it on my phone right now. I have my work schedule for July and August so I have zero excuses. I will be right back.
First checkup (27 June) notes:
1 chapter done with 70% satisfaction points
Commits to the two chapters per month aka minimal two chapters per check-up (more would be great future, Cassy!)
Promise to do better and actively makes a plan of action to keep to my promise
Here is the game plan:
On 29 June keep the document open for a minimum of 30 minutes. The idea is that I will get inspired and write a chapter but I’m not allowed to give up until the 30 minutes has passed.
On 8 July I need to work on the book for at least one hour. Again, the same rule as before but I’m a bit stricter as I’m nearing the mini deadline.
On 15 July it’s 30 minutes.
On 21 July is one hour.
On 25 July is the second checkup and hopefully, I hit the minimal two chapters goal.
On 1 August is one hour.
On 5 August another one-hour session.
On 14 August, one hour again.
On 20 August minimal one hour again. We got to get strict because with school starting again in September, it would be smart to get ahead.
On 22 August is the third checkup and hopefully, I have hit the 10 chapters in total mark because damn that would be a great place to be.
And it’s officially in my schedule so you know I will get to it. Honestly, it’s the only way I keep track of everything. But that’s about it. I hope everyone is doing okay and please take care and stay safe.
Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!
Hey! Hello! Hi! How you doing? (PS: You need to pronounce is like Joey does, it’s a requirement. I don’t make the rules here). It’s time for another update about the book and boy did these last three weeks fly by. I don’t understand how it happened. It was April like yesterday and I blinked and now look where we are, with step two sort of but not really complete.
A quick reminder what was on the list for step two:
Create timeline
Plan out chapters
Do research
I did actually add two more things to my list but to be fair, I also took some shit off so it kind of balances out. I added:
Character descriptions (main and (main)side-characters)
Important buildings in the Sims 4
I’m going to keep this update short and sweet as I’m semi limited with what I want to share that I’ve created these last few weeks. I know that with the first draft already on here, any big surprises are off the table but I still want to keep some stuff unknown. So, I’m going to speed run through some of these bullet points.
Create timeline: The story takes place in 8 months, starting in January and ending in August. I went above and beyond with this timeline, it took me a good few hours, but it’s beyond detailed and should help avoid any big plot holes and help with the smoother transitions. It did pose as a challenge at one point as I started to overthink certain details. I got a bit stuck on the location of the story and how certain things would work as in the legal drinking age, but I committed on some rules/facts. The story takes place in Europe. There are mountains around them or in the area and there is also a sea/beach semi close-by. The legal drinking age is 18 and the year is 2019. I even went as far to plan out the school system. It’s very detailed, I might even argue it’s too planned out. I’ve never approached writing a book like this so it’s going to be interesting how it takes shape once I actually sit down and write.
Plan out chapters: As I pretty much planned out almost every single day (some days are open for possible filler scenes), I didn’t feel that a chapter-by-chapter thorough plan was needed. Yes, a small part of me was lazy considering how many hours the timeline took me, but a bigger part was mainly me planning myself into a writer’s block and I wanted to leave some flexibility for the story.
Do research: There was a small list of things I was able to research from the get go, the highlights from the first draft but honestly some things are difficult to research before I know the role it might play in the story. Yes, I could research every occupation or hobby in detail but if I’m going to mention it in passing here and there, I only need to know enough information for those small references. But the first thing I researched was boxing as it played a big role in the story and this is the source I used.
Character descriptions
Again, I want to avoid sharing to much, but here is a small hint.
I have 11 of these tables and there are still a few characters that I might add later on. I just haven’t figured out the smaller details yet so I’m waiting to see how they will take shape once I write them. PS: I haven’t finished any of these tables, that’s what the *** stand for.
Important buildings in the Sims 4
Here I can share only a tiny bit more. The reason why I decided to build the main important buildings in the Sims 4, outside the fact that on the day I started working on step two I just really wanted to play Sims but needed an excuse, but I have a real semi valid reason too. As I sometimes struggle with those tiny details as okay the character just made a cup of coffee but poof she is here now, how did that happen? So, I created the build to help myself with that, and it’s also for those small details like what color carpet does she have (incase M drops something on the carpet) or a guest is over, where is the bathroom? It’s those really small things that I definitely didn’t need the Sims 4 builds for but like I said, I only need an excuse.
M (the main character who might be getting a proper nick name in the final draft) has a beautiful tree house in the back yard which is basically her sanctuary. It has a very thrifted home-made vibe going on. And some of the furniture pieces Zack designed, build or fixed for her. This is the area M and Zack will spend a lot of time in, so definitely prepare yourself for adorable “filler” scenes.
~*~
And that’s all folks, nothing to crazy. Next up, step three (time guess: 18-20 weeks):
WRITE! Rough draft. Try to not stress about perfection. Get everything down from A to Z.
We have some cliff notes that go with this step. The main one being the total amount of chapters, how many chapters I will realistically be able to complete per month and of course, how long it will take me to finish. The original time guess of max 20 weeks is a bit on the ambitious side. Honestly, I think a minimum two chapters per month is the best we might get, there might be some weeks in between where I can pump out more chapters but I’m not going to put any money on those anytime soon. My hands are a bit full with you know, trying to get my degree in my third language and starting a new job in July. Oh, by the way, I did get that nursing student job in the end. I’m starting in July and I can’t be more excited.
So, if we take all that into account and we play with the lose idea of 15 chapters in total, the time guess can instantly be bumped up to 30 weeks (because 1 chapter = 2 weeks). I can’t commit to the total amount of chapters now before writing as…the first draft is 20 short chapters (4 pages per chapter) and the idea for the new version is either 5 pages per chapter or 8. All of these details impact the total amount of chapters which in turn impacts the time guess. It’s all interlinked because it’s one thing to rewrite the first draft and fix those transitions and small details, but obviously I’m adding shit to enrich the story. What I’m trying to say is, this might take a hot second and you’re going to need to be patient with me. I do intend to do a little mini check up every 4 weeks just to let you know where I sit so that’s something.
I really don’t have anything else to say so I’m going to round up this blog here and get back to studying or probably, and most likely, play some Sims. I hope life isn’t treating everyone to harshly and please take care and stay safe.
Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a click!
A few weeks ago I shared my step-by-step plan on how I’m going to finish the next book. The goal was that by sharing this plan with my readers, I would be forced to stick to my guns and actually work on the book. And I was right. If I didn’t have this deadline hanging over my head I definitely wouldn’t have worked on the book today, that I can promise you with a lot of confidence. Before I share hints of how the first step went, allow me to remind you what was on my list.
Please note that I’m working on the (published, you can read it here) first draft: Chocolate Chip Cookies and Pink Nails which means there will be spoilers. The idea of the story is out there (and so is the ending) but I will keep any new details I’m going to add as a surprise.
Step 1: (Three weeks: 1 April to 22 April)
Reread/revise old notes
Reread the entire first draft and write new notes (new perspective/ideas?)
Reread the second draft (4) chapters and write notes (on the right path?)
~*~
Feedback from Friend X:
M needs a clear moment where she realizes she’s in love with Zack before his death.
More filler chapters. It’s too abrupt.
Maybe a funeral for Zack. The story needs a well-rounded ending.
Feedback from Friend Y:
Chapter 1
Overload of information right from the start. A lot of names in one go. Had to make a list to digest everything. Who is X and what do they mean to the main character? Who is the main character?
Confusion with Dad and Daddy Dearest. Dad in office. Daddy Dearest in kitchen. The difference between names leads to confusion, who is who and where are they?
Chapter 5
Finer details. Legal drinking age. Alcohol?
Chapter 6
Further confusion between Dad and Daddy Dearest character names.
Chapter 7
Establishing characters even if they’re only there for one scene.
Explain Zack’s motivation, history and etc. Why is he willing to get into drag? How does this effect his military image? Go into his character more. Who is he?
Chapter 8
Time jumps. Abrupt transitions from one scene to another.
Chapter 9
More build-up on Zack/M’s bucket list trip to New York. What about all the special experiences that only the city has to offer?
Chapter 10
Time jumps. Transition between days/time is abrupt. Quote: “I get the feeling that the story goes from party to bed, to party to bed, to musical to bed. Like why not make this start with the walk or metro trip home.”
It’s quick jumps from big scene/moment to another. No rest moments to reflect on the big scene/moment. The story needs more fillers/breathing moments.
Chapter 12
Smoother transitions from scene to scene!
Chapter 13
Reaction to big changes/moments that are negative or uncomfortable needs to be explained. Why does M react that why? More personality builds up and deeper idea of who the main character is will help with this.
Chapter 15
Where is this story taking place? Where do they live?
More structure to the timeline.
Main character’s personality, history and motivation should be clearer. There is a lot of confusion. Quote: “Now I’m thinking like, you’re the real daughter of the Daddy dearest, who was the drag queen (and in the military(?)) in the past, but he once did have a relationship with a female. As well as having the other son Mason. But the other dad seemed more realistic to have this as he had less of the drag queen attitude. Like drag queens are more likely to be just gay and awfully over the top and not bisexual? But then he must be bisexual then.”
More confusion between Dad and Daddy Dearest characters, history, personality and motivation. Quote: “Okay so now her real dad is the dad and not the daddy dearest? And the mason is the daddy dearest’s son. I’m still confused by it all as they are too similar of names – one of them was called Rick, right? Can’t the real dad be dad and the step dad be with a name? lol mi curious what others reading this story thought about this issue.”
Chapter 16
More explanation on character’s reaction to certain scene/moments good and bad.
Chapter 17
Fillers. Establish main character.
Chapter 18
Facts. How long does X take? Ex. nose break and surgery. Hospital trip, healing time, procedure and etc.
School timeline. Overall timeline should be improved.
Story jumps to quickly.
Chapter 19
Important side-character that hold importance to the main character shouldn’t be introduced to late. Ex. Sasha’s father – M is supposedly super close to the Wilson family. But he is only mentioned now almost at the end?
Timeline = weather/season!
Chapter 20
Realistic reaction. Ex. Response to a crime. Quote: “Realistically with stab wounds this would have already have been done at the hospital and your statements would have already been taken by the police and area searched for the guy with the knife. I believe it is classed as it is attempted murder (?)”
Quick jumps from scene to scene. The story needs more time for the character to reflect back to certain scene/moments. Breathing moments or fillers will go a long way.
Needs a better well-rounded ending!
Extra
Themes/messages shouldn’t be too subtle or should at least be acknowledged. If you’re not looking for it or don’t have personal first-hand experience, will you notice the signs?
Feedback from the Husband:
More Sasha before boyfriend. What was their relationship like? How did it change? The loss of friendship will hit deeper…
More history of young M. Get your facts straight. M’s backstory. Daddy dearest is technically her uncle.
Cancer grandma? Homophobia. A villain and conflict = personal growth.
Special occasions: Public holidays, birthday’s, big school events (prom).
Timeline jumps. Smoother transitions.
More fillers.
~*~
Chapter 1
Get M’s backstory right. A rejected baby in a ditch? Later on, she orphaned by a car accident? One of the dads technically her uncle who adopted her?
Texting bits in a different form? Is it easy to digest?
Intro is a bit weird. I can’t tell you why though. Something just feels off.
Dad and Daddy Dearest confusion. Spend more time giving the characters shape. Personality, motivation, a name would be nice. Dad is a lawyer? Daddy Dearest a chef?
Arrived to Sasha’s place by bicycle. Okay so they live close by. Where is this story taking place? Somewhere in Europe? Is it safe to get from point A to point B by bicycle is the question, I guess?
A better idea of the surroundings can go very far as fillers or transitions. The neighborhood. The two main characters house or at very least their bedrooms. A clear picture of their area and how they interact with it will help. Maybe it will be fun to make their homes in Sims? (She says as she wants to play in build mode because it’s been a while).
Own essay – come on Cas don’t be lazy. Maybe play around with different styles when you jump from texting, essay and then the actual story? Would it be too much?
Which one do you prefer? I’m still debating if I want to use the essay format to share important moments (as there is a limit with how personal the main character will realistically get) or instead use a blog format? Texting does come up a few times in the book and a new style for it would be nice, but I’m not sure yet. I like it more when it’s the different font though. What are your thoughts?
Chapter 2
M’s future plans. What is she passionate about? What are her hobbies? What is she good at? Is her talent singing? Does she want to pursue a singing career or is just for fun? What “type” of singing? What is her voice like? Honestly rethink the whole singing talent because that’s going to be difficult to do justice. Does she want to study? If so, what? Apparently, she likes to travel. Where did this passion come from?
Relationship with Sasha before her relationship with John. What is their friendship like? How/why or when did M fall in love?
How did Zack go from best friend’s brother to close friend? Maybe spend more than two seconds on this.
The one-week trip away. Destination is flexible but activities should also match a bit with the place you’re visiting. What does only this place have to offer?
Fix the time jumps or abrupt scene changes.
Chapter 3
I actually really like the food fight scene. It hurts when your characters live your random dream.
Chapter 4
Zack character should be super clear by now. Is he comfortable with his masculinity where he is comfortable wearing whatever? Should it be said or does the actions portray this enough? Again, I don’t actually hate this scene. The recurring problem of time jumps and abrupt scene changes should be addressed though.
Zack and his social media…It only really came up on the trip and nowhere else. It’s okay if that’s the case but explain it as in maybe it’s a travel Instagram? Maybe it’s just here is all the fun stuff I do? I don’t know add some logic, I guess?
“Pop” references. Famous celebrity gives birth. Commit to a rough time when the story takes place and make sure references are accurate to that time. It’s a nice touch.
Chapter 5
I really love this scene. A good flirting scene with pick up nails is my favorite and is definitely going to happen in almost every book I’m going to write.
In this chapter Zack is flirting with another girl? Does he like M? His feelings, omblivious to the main character but obvious to the readers needs to be constant or at least explain. Readers see that in chapter x and y he obviously has feelings for M but now he is flirting with some stranger in the club?
Finer detail: legal drinking age. We’ve established their age, and where they’re visiting, if New York legal age is 21. With that logic, M wouldn’t even be allowed in. Fake ID then?
Zack’s history and backstory. Did he enlist in the army?
Chapter 6
I love this dancing competition moment. Maybe reference to the inspiration (Grease) for extra points?
Add finer details. Where did they get the dress? Did Zack just show up with M’s dress? Did they buy it at a thrift store? If so, was it dry cleaned before she wore it for how many hours? Also spend more time at the competitions. Fixing the recurring problem should solve this problem here.
How long are they away at this trip? When is it? March? What is the weather like? What time of the year is it? Where are they staying. Filler or extra information can serve as great breathing moments to enjoy big scenes and moments.
Chapter 7
Again, love this scene. Same problem as before, is Zack comfortable dressing up in drag? Similar question that Friend Y pointed out. If Zack is an army guy, what would the response be?
Also, suddenly one of the dads is/was into drag? Totally okay but the way it was brought up was a bit to quick.
Sing along to songs, as in share lyrics. Is it okay? I like the “pop” reference though.
Chapter 8
Transitions from scene to scene. More breathing moments to process big moments. M’s sees all the pictures and finally gets a hint of Zack’s feelings. And then boom, overcoming stage fright fear.
Chapter 9
Kiss scene. Jump. Sky diving. Recuring problem rearing it ugly head once more. Surprise!
Chapter 10
Big hair transformation. Jump. First tattoo and a matching tattoo at that.
Chapter 11
Fight with Sasha. It’s okay but can be better.
Two months later jump. Come on, don’t be so lazy. What is M’s school life? Does she have other friends? Add more fillers. Also, the jump between chapters is a bit weird. Chapter 8, 9 and 10 crazy adventure stuff is happening and in chapter 11, she fights with best friends and suddenly it’s two months later and Zack likes to box now? Allow the readers to breathe.
Finer details: Realistic shit please. If Zack is going to box, actually read up about boxing. Don’t just pull shit out of your ass.
Chapter 12
Sasha’s pregnancy reveal. Jump. One dad had an affair and has a son.
Chapter 13
Mason (Dad’s son that they just found out about and just appeared) instant friends? A bit unrealistic…Like here is my back story okay we’re family now?
Chapter 14
Dad (the cheater) moved out and now M hates him? More moments of their relationship will make his betrayal and her reaction make more sense. Also, now I (so definitely the readers) don’t really care.
I love the wholesome moment M has with the other dad though. More of those scenes with the main side-characters throughout the book would be perfect though.
Chapter 15
What time of the year is it? What’s happening in school? Exams? School events? Holidays? The story desperately needs a proper timeline.
Also, parents are getting a divorce. It’s feels very abrupt. The story is just very fast passed. Something big happens in every single chapter which isn’t too crazy but it’s big moment, jump, big moment, jump, big moment and etc.
Chapter 16
Nothing specific to comment on in this one. Just maybe M finally catching up to Zack’s inner turmoil? Is the message clear enough to the reader?
Chapter 17
The usual problem, other than that nothing specific to report. Maybe well M gets a dog but she’s going away soon? Possibly travel/possibly to study? Is she moving out after high school?
Chapter 18
Nose breaking scene. Just make sure it’s realistic. Sasha miscarriage scene. Again realistic. How far along was she? Did she pass the fetus via medication or did was the fetus removed via surgery? How did she lose the baby? Just one of those things or was there an accident? Just spend some time on this.
Chapter 19
Mugger scene. Make it realistic. Police response? Ambulance?
Chapter 20
M needs a moment where she realizes she loves Zack. Story needs a better ending. We’re not going to end it on too much of a cliffhanger okay.
~*~
Chapter 1
I like it. It’s a good start and introduces all the main (- side characters) quite flawlessly. Good job Cas! The time jump isn’t the worst in the world but it’s not needed. Add a paragraph or two to just leave it out. So, add a filer.
Chapter 2
Again, a job well done. Just need to fix the two dad’s confusion problem.
Chapter 3
I really like it. I do notice the same pattern popping up that the story is going a bit quickly but it’s not nearly as bad as it was with the first draft. I think a good rule is going to have one “breathable” moment per chapter.
Essay moment. Commit on how I’m going to share flashbacks or specific moments. If it’s going to be an essay it needs to be realistic. What would you share with your teacher? How personal would you get? Also, word count. My essays at school were 350-500 words if I remember correctly. Maybe a good replacement could be a blog? She can then be super personal and stuff while hiding it from family and friends. The modern diary. I really like the idea of having a different style for the texting and essay, so how will we showcase the blog? As research, look at different blogs to get a style idea. And then find something that you can replicate in an easy format between the text. Nothing to overwhelming or distracting. Instagram diary? WordPress blog? Tumbler? With most of these options you share a picture with the entry. How would you do that? This is getting too complicated.
Also how long is this book going to be? How many pages per chapters? A good plan with a timeline is going to help in the next run through.
Fun fact. In the second draft I wrote 3 chapters (15 pages) and only really replaced the first chapter of the first draft.
~*~
And with that, we finish step one of the plan. How exciting! I can’t tell you how incredibly happy I am to get back to my writing. I missed it so much and I’m dying to start but I’m getting all my ducks in the row before we’re going to swim, for a change. Usually, I just jump into a story but that’s the difference between a first draft and something you’re asking people to pay for.
What’s next? My tasks for step two are: create a timeline, plan out my chapters, and to do a lot of research. This is also when I’m going to plan my surroundings more. So, where is this story taking place? I will definitely use this step as an excuse to play around in Sims, I mean I should get a layout of the main character’s surroundings, right? I gave myself three weeks for this step, starting 22 April to 13 May. I saw with the first step, depending on what I had going on with school, the schedule was a bit tight but saying that I also put in the effort to make the deadline sooooo-
Thank you so much for reading and I will see you in a little over three weeks with the next update. Take care and stay safe!
I hope everyone is doing relatively okay while the world and life has just…to put it nicely, been a mess. I can’t tell you how great it feels to write in English. The last few months my entire life has just become DUTCH and I desperately started to miss the old part of myself, which was writing and English. I didn’t know you could miss an entire language until I started to miss a language. I also learned it’s possible to kind of hate a language. But as I got surprised with a short two-week break before the next term starts, I figured hey why don’t you spend that time on the next book that you’ve been meaning to do since the start of time. I’m talking about my book “Chocolate Chip Cookies and Pink Nails” in case you’ve forgotten. I wouldn’t blame you. It’s been an eternity. Even now after all these years, I still get very excited for this story. It has protentional and I want to do it justice. Especially what it represents to me but let’s save that deep shit for the promo.
To hopefully force my butt into gear, I’ve decided to make a clear step by step plan and share it on here to not only involve the readers but also keep myself accountable. I honestly don’t know if I would ever be able to finish this book without your help. I need someone to say hey where is step one? It’s due on X date. I can then make an active plan on how I’m going to accomplish the goal and actually get it done. Here is my outline to get from where I’m now (with the first draft that has been collecting dust online and I stopped mid-chapter in my second run through) to published. I’m going to come up here at the end of every step or between if it’s been months to just update the readers on the progress. Am I’m on track? Am I stuck on anything? Okay let’s try that again. Here is my step-by-step plan to get from now to published:
Step 1 (Time guess: 3 weeks)
Reread/revise old notes
Reread the entire first draft and write new notes (new perspective/ideas?)
Reread the second draft (4) chapters and write notes (on the right path?)
Step 2 (Time guess: 3 weeks)
Create timeline
Plan out the chapters
Do research (don’t just pull shit out of your ass this time, cas)
Step 3 (Time guess: 18-20 weeks)
Start over! Start at chapter one again with all notes and the timeline/plan and just WRITE. Rough draft. Try to not stress about perfection. Get everything down from A to Z. (Realistic) Goal: 3 chapters a month. (Current plan is 15 chapters, but will have to adjust as the story takes shape.)
*This time guess is the most uncertain. I have no idea how many chapters the book will be (I plan to make this a short story but who knows) and I have no idea how many chapters I can realistically finish per month while I’m doing my bachelors. I should have a better idea once step 2 is completed.
Step 4 (Time guess: 3-4 weeks)
Reread whatever version you’re on now and make notes/mark mistakes. Fix them while you’re at it.
Double check facts/research.
Get feedback! Force husband and best friend to read it again. Use their notes to further improve on any missing plot holes.
Step 5 (Time guess: 6-8 weeks)
Start worrying about perfection. Grammar baby! Edit. Consider hiring an editor, realize it too expensive and I’m just a student self-publishing my books. Cry. And then edit again.
Final feedback and grammar looked over by husband and best friend. Probably forced.
Step 6 (Time guess: 3-4 weeks)
Fun stuff! Make the announcement. Choose the date. Create the graphics (cover and banner).
Sample chapters (1 per week leading up to launch?)
Technical stuff (force it on the husband)
AND CLICK PUBLISH! (and try to celebrate it this time!)
Crawl back into the hole and maybe attempt the next book in like 98145 years.
I’m going to start with step one in the beginning of April. I have two weeks to get as far as possibly (uninterrupted) and I want to use my time wisely. If I take my time guesses (so how long I think a step will take) into account, it will take me 10 months. That means if all goes well, the book will go live in January/February 2022. Somehow that feels like it will be two weeks from now and not 10 months. What is time?
And there you have it. A clear and to the point plan. I’m going to print it and put it up in the office so there’s no escape. I really want to write again. It was never my intention to put it in the back burner. I miss it and I can’t wait to get back to it. I’m so excited. If I didn’t have a week to finish the “it took me the entire term” project and study for the big test, I would probably start now. But priorities…or degree first. Then happiness.
Thank you so much for reading. Please take care and stay safe.
PS. School is going relatively okay. I’m hoping to get a (part-time) student nurse job in the semi near future. I got through to the second round of interviews so fingers crossed. I want to be in the field. I truly love it. I enjoyed every single minute of my internship. I want to do this for as long as I possibly can. It’s something I’m incredibly passionate about, but well let’s just say I’ve found out it’s pretty normal to despise university and I’m on the normal train on this one. Yay.
The purpose of this blog is to warn anyone and everyone who is considering reading or purchasing any of my books in the future. This is about trigger warnings. I personally dislike it when an author will warn me at the beginning of the book or prior to the scene in question about x subject matter. It spoils the mystery for me, and I feel that it takes something away from the book. Recent events have taught me that if I continue to write about sensitive subjects with a vague warning at the start of the book (Example: This book contains strong language, sex scenes, and extreme violence.) I will trigger some of my readers. The content of my book can cause them extreme emotional distress, and if I have warned them from the start, they could’ve made the choice if they wish to read the book (scenes) or not. Before I briefly touch on the recent event in question, I want to stress this now.
I write about sensitive topics ranging from suicide, depression, infertility, rape, anxiety, trauma, torture and etc. I doubt all of my books will contain all of the subjects listed above, but some of them will. If you’re triggered by any of these topics, please don’t read my works. From this point and onwards, if you see the warning: “This book contains sensitive subject matter” please know that I’m referring to this list. If I happen to write a story that doesn’t contain any of these scenes, I will clearly state it from the start. I WILL NEVER AGAIN TAKE YOUR CHOICE AWAY.
After the launch of my first eBook: My Alpha Mate Got Me Pregnant And He Loves It, a received a comment that brought the high from my dream coming true from a level 6000 to a level 0. It was quite clear in her comment that she has suffered extreme emotional distress with some of the content in my book. I just want to clarify from the start that I can see now that I didn’t handle the situation correctly, but honestly, I have no idea how I should’ve handled everything. I just made things worse, and that is really fucking sad. Saying that, this shit storm has been an eye-opening learning experience.
While I knew that the sensitive subject matters that I choose to write about is well sensitive, I never truly considered the consequences of this. I personally feel the topic of triggers and trigger warnings is messy with no clear winner. After I saw her initial response (I’ve decided not to share any of our interactions together as I don’t want to make an already bad situation worse by possibly putting her identity out in the open.) I went back and forth about what I should’ve done or what more importantly I should do so this doesn’t happen again in the future. I quickly had to realize that it’s impossible to please everyone. It’s impossible not to trigger someone or upset someone when you write about sensitive topics. The thing is, I like writing about sensitive, almost taboo subjects. I want to write about things that people don’t really talk about. I want to open the dialogue. Another thing to keep in the back of your mind is that I write from personal experience. I’ve always done this.
My trigger is anything related to suicide and infertility. I have a special sweet spot for religion related to infertility. Now those comments really grind my gears. I think every single person has something they respond to intensely. We all have some sort of triggers. It’s just one of those things. I’m not about to sit here on my little throne and preach that you need to learn how to cope with your triggers and blah blah blah. You’re allowed to feel what you’re feeling. No one on this big earth can tell you how you’re supposed to feel. Pain is pain. But in that very same breath, sometimes a push into the deep end is all you need to learn how to swim. Allow me to explain. So, one night, I stumbled onto a romance story with a little tragic twist to it. I like my characters to have some trauma to them because that’s what I relate to. Anyway, in this story, the main character is struggling with a breakup. It’s only a few chapters in that you learn that the love of her life is in fact, dead. Probably a good ten to fifteen chapters later we learn that this person had committed suicide. It caught me off guard. I was blindsided, and I was upset, but I kept reading. I couldn’t stop reading. I had to know what the main character’s response is to this. It was a whole new perspective for me. For the very first time, I could see the people you leave behind’s point of view. As someone who was suicidal, I’m on the other side of the fence. I never for one second thought about what the people who I left behind would think or feel. So, that little plot twist send me down a truly ugly rabbit hole, but it was good for me. I needed to learn that other perspective. With that being said, I still cried quite a bit and struggled to sleep for a few days because my brain wouldn’t shut the hell up. That author had no trigger warning. It would’ve ruined the plot twist. It would’ve ruined her message. She didn’t stop mid-chapter or mid-story to throw out a trigger warning. She simply pushed me into the deep end, I swallowed a shit ton of water, and the chlorine burned the shit out of my eyes, but I doggy paddled my way to the middle of the pool where I could stand and gather my thoughts.
So, what’s I’m trying to say is that I get it. I’ve been triggered before, and some warning would’ve been nice, so I could’ve protected myself from the pain and not read it, but then I wouldn’t have gained that new perspective. But in the very same breath, it could’ve gone the other way. There is just no winner in this situation. What I realize now is that if I continue to write about the sensitive subject matters, and I continue to grow, at some point, I’m going to upset more and more people. I’m going to trigger them. My heart goes out for them because I’ve been there before and I understand that these types of things never happen in a good timing in your life, but I’m not going to change. I’m going to talk about abuse because it helps me overcome my own abuse. I’m going to talk about suicide because nearly ten years ago, I nearly took my own life. I’m going to talk about rape because I feared every single day that he will sneak into my room and take that part of my being away with him.
AGAIN, I want to stress that I didn’t handle the situation with the girl I triggered correctly. Even though it wasn’t my intention, I made things worse. I kept going back trying to explain myself when I should’ve just accepted that yes, I triggered her and she’s upset, but no. I can’t make it alright again. I shared some of the bits above with her (and then some more) with the idea that maybe she will see where I’m coming from and truly understand that I didn’t misuse these sensitive topics for shock value as so many other entertainment sources do today. It came from a good place and from someone who is sympathetic and educated on the matter. This didn’t happen, and I kept digging the hole deeper and if you’re reading this: I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t warn you about the triggers present in my book. I’m sorry I took your choice away.
The purpose of this blog slash announcement is to warn any future readers, so I will never blindside them again and cause them extreme emotional distress. I’m not going to have a big warning at the start of the book that says this book contains scenes of torture or etc. (Again, in my opinion, it spoils some of the mystery for other readers) but I will state the following. This book contains sensitive subject matter. There’s no harm repeating it so prepare yourself for some déjà vu.
I write about sensitive topics ranging from suicide, depression, infertility, rape, anxiety, trauma, torture and etc. I doubt all of my books will contain all of the subjects listed above, but some of them will. If you’re triggered by any of these topics, please don’t read my works. From this point and onwards, if you see the warning: “This book contains sensitive subject matter” please know that I’m referring to this list. If I happen to write a story that doesn’t contain any of these scenes, I will clearly state it from the start. I WILL NEVER AGAIN TAKE YOUR CHOICE AWAY.
Before I finish this annouchment, I want to touch on one more thing. Why do I write about these sensitive subject matters? Other than writing from my own experience and starting the healing process inside of me, I write about these subject matters with the intention of highlighting my underlining message. Not all of them will be the same, but it’s always in the same field. Bad things happen to good people, but we all have that inner strength inside of us that gives us hope. That strength can be your armor so eventually, you come out as the victor. No matter how bad life is, with that inner strength and hope, a great support system, and the belief that the good will balance out the bad, you can overcome anything. I fully and passionately stand by my message because I’m living breathing fucking proof that it’s true. That little voice inside your head that comes forward when you really need that little push and hope is why I’m here today. That inner strength kept me together these last few months when life handed me a shit storm left and right. That inner strength lifted my chin when I collapsed into pieces because I hated my body and feared that I would never be able to carry my husband and I’s child. So, I guess what I’m trying to stress is that I’m not misusing my platform and voice. I’m not writing about these sensitve subject matters because it’s popular these days or for shock value. It comes from a good place with deeper meaning and lessons hidden throughout my work.
I’ve put all of the chapters of Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails into one downloadable document for you. I lightly and I mean very lightly edited the document. The purpose of this is to make accessing the entirety of this story easier. Before you click on the link to read, please take note of my author note. It’s on the second page of the PDF document but I feel compelled to really stress this.
Author Note
This is the first ever version of this story. It’s completely raw and unedited. There are plot holes, grammar mistakes and overall moments that makes no sense to anyone but me. It’s messy. I fully intend to turn this first draft into something so much bigger but that’s going to take some time. Please note that I’m constantly evolving with my writing. I wrote this book a few months ago and I already think it’s incredibly badly written. Even though I want to stick my head into a little hole and hide from the world at the very thought of people reading this: I’m still so proud of this. I love this story so much. It helped me when I was going through a hard time and for that I’m grateful. You’re more than welcome to read this story and share constructive criticism on it. What do you think is missing? What should I add? What grammar mistake is repeated? Though, threw, thought and etc. I won’t ever know I misuse these words until someone points it out to me. While (With* I make these oopsies all the damn time) that being said, I repeat this book is the FIRST DRAFT. It’s very raw and there WILL be grammar mistakes. If you want to point out every single spelling mistake, go right ahead. Just know, I won’t necessarily respond to it. I’m going to start the heavy editing process in August 2019 so hopefully, you will have the final version of this book early 2020. We will have to see how things play out. Thank you so much for the support and I hope you will enjoy this story.
PS This is a coming of age story so it’s a story designed for young adults. I touch on serious subjects in this book.
The Future Of My Coming Of Age Story: Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails
I can’t believe this story is over. When I started this story I was in a very strange time in my life. I just shared my news about my past and overall I was in a fragile state of mind more than half of the time. While feeling so open and raw, I learned so much about myself. I fought every single day and now, months later, I can say that it was worth it. Every bit of pain that I felt after telling the world I was abused was worth it. Because I was able to move on from that pain. Truly begin to heal. This story helped in ways I can’t even begin to put in words. It’s almost humorous, that as a writer, the words are lost upon me. I started this story because I wanted to write some happy go lucky, rainbow and sunshine story, but as time passed. The story just grew along with me. I realized something very important. Without suffering and pain, there isn’t happiness and bliss. You need the other one as into scale the level of what you’re feeling. Okay, that didn’t make much sense. Like I said, the right words when it comes to this story is lost on me. But it comes down to one thing. I wanted to do more. I wanted to write my story inside my story.
For years now I’ve tried to write my story, my past but I always got so stuck. It was too much. Just after I started this story I stumbled onto a quote and it has stuck with me. “It’s so important to turn your sadness into art. Use every ounce of your pain, don’t let it go to waste.” by Gabbie Hanna. Quite naturally, this story morphed into my outlet. My own way to write about my experiences with certain things without well writing my biography. Some of the themes in this story are inspired by events in my life. It still has its own life don’t get me wrong but a bit of my soul is in this story.
It would be irresponsible of me to not talk about Zack’s suicide in the last chapter. I take suicide very seriously. When I was fifteen, I wanted to commit suicide. I can remember the day I decided to vividly. I don’t think I will ever forget that moment. What I felt. What was going through my head at that moment… I was in English class. It was the middle of the day and it was just another day. Nothing big happened the night before nor was there any big stressor recently. We were reading Shakespeare and I was dozing off. I don’t know where the thought came from but suddenly the thought of going home, drinking his sleeping pills and just letting go popped into my head. It was an overwhelming burst of energy and the sense of relief I felt…looking back now I’m sad. I mourn for that young girl who thought the only way she was going to survive her pain was by ending it all. The rest of the school day I was happy. I was just so happy because I knew when I got home it was all going to be over. I wouldn’t have to fake a smile and hope that things don’t get worse. I got home and went through my normal routine. I made instant noodles and ate it while watching my usual show. I then went upstairs, took off my school clothes and unpacked my school bag. I was just going through the motions really. I climbed on my bed and just stared at the ceiling. I wasn’t really thinking about anything at that moment. I was at peace. My phone beeped and it was a message from my dad. It was just another one of those jokes or things that he still sends through. At that moment I kind of snapped out of the haze. I took me years to place those feelings that I felt in that moment into words. It was anger. I don’t know who I was angry at but the will to fight boiled my blood and I refused to ever allow myself to think that killing myself would make everything better. I refused to give in. I saw that the act of my suicide would allow the man who abused me to win and I couldn’t allow that. Over my dead body will I allow this man to win. Things didn’t magically get better after that moment. It got worst. So much worst. The thought occurred to me on my weaker moments but I continued to fight. I fought because I knew eventually things will get better. Eventually, I will find a life worth living for. A life that made all that pain worth it. I’ve always wanted to talk about suicide, it should be talked about more. With this story, I was finally able to do. Zack’s suicide is only the beginning though. It’s only the end of this story but I planned from the start to have this a three book series. Yes! You heard that right. A THREE book series!
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails is only the FIRST DRAFT of book one. It is short even for short story standards. I’m so very excited to announce that my goal for this new year is to revise, edit and complete the final version for this story with the means to publish it. It won’t be a big publish deal with some big company and suddenly this book is in all the bookstores in the world. Although that is THE dream. It will be an e-book on my website that true fans of this book can purchase. I’m planning to add at least another 80 pages to this story, which is basically double the amount that you see now. I realize there is a lot of events that I just skipped over. There is so much character development needed and well little plot holes that need to be filled. I have a list of things I want to add (nothing big will change) and I wanted to take this moment and ask you, the reader, to please comment down below and let me know what you think is missing. What do you want to see more off? What do you want to know? Do you want to hear more about M as she was growing up? How Daddy Dearest turned gay? There are quite a bit of things I want to go into detail about that I only briefly mentioned throughout the story. Zack’s depression and struggle with alcoholism were very subtle throughout the entire story. It was important to me to not make it too obvious as M (and you the readers) should be completely overthrown by his suicide. There is so much more I can say but I will leave that for the second book.
Thank you so much for all the love and support. I truly hope you enjoyed this little part of my soul. And I hope if anything, you can take my message to heart. Mental health is so fucking important. If you’re struggling, please reach out. If not with family members or friends, then with a therapist. There are so many free online support communities. You’re not alone. I know you feel alone and you’re drowning in the pain, but please. Reach out. I know it’s hard but it’s worth it.
Love,
Cassy
***
Update from Future Cassy:
I’ve put all of the chapters of Chocolate Chip Cookies And Pink Nails into one downloadable document for you. I lightly and I mean very lightly edited the document. The purpose of this is to make accessing the entirety of this story easier. Before you click on the link to read, please take note of my author note. It’s on the second page of the PDF document but I feel compelled to really stress this.
Author Note
This is the first ever version of this story. It’s completely raw and unedited. There are plot holes, grammar mistakes and overall moments that makes no sense to anyone but me. It’s messy. I fully intend to turn this first draft into something so much bigger but that’s going to take some time. Please note that I’m constantly evolving with my writing. I wrote this book a few months ago and I already think it’s incredibly badly written. Even though I want to stick my head into a little hole and hide from the world at the very thought of people reading this: I’m still so proud of this. I love this story so much. It helped me when I was going through a hard time and for that I’m grateful. You’re more than welcome to read this story and share constructive criticism on it. What do you think is missing? What should I add? What grammar mistake is repeated? Though, threw, thought and etc. I won’t ever know I misuse these words until someone points it out to me. While that being said, I repeat this book is the FIRST DRAFT. It’s very raw and there WILL be grammar mistakes. If you want to point out every single spelling mistake, go right ahead. Just know, I won’t necessarily respond to it. I’m going to start the heavy editing process in August 2019 so hopefully, you will have the final version of this book early 2020. We will have to see how things play out. Thank you so much for the support and I hope you will enjoy this story.
PS This is a coming of age story so it’s a story designed for young adults. I touch on serious subjects in this book.
ButterflyFingers 